- BODY MOUNTED
- WAIST GRIPPED
- LEGS APART
- HEEL SLID IN
- CORE SYNC
BEATSHOP · WORKING IT IN000
STATUS: EARLY ALPHA
BEAT BAES
my waifu is a battle-top mech?!
Shape your Parts.Mount your Rig.Smash BAEs!
Build busted loadouts, smash BAEs, and grind your way through a chaotic, physics-driven roguelike where Riders pilot customizable battle-top mechs through illegal underground arenas.
BAITERRICOCHET CORENAGOYA, JAPAN
Maximum Bounce
“The arena is my pinball machine!”
Every wall is a combo extender if your decision-making is irresponsible enough.
LEARNING CURVE High Bounce, fast Pickup, very high Handling. Easy to displace in a straight trade, exceptional at changing what a bad angle means.
- TRAITBaka Brained!Clip a rival from the side to send her farther. Your owned Grazes gain displacement, not extra Heart damage.
- PRIMARYKuru Kuru… That Wayyy!Press once to draw a short curved relaunch, choose its direction and bend, then press again to commit. Anything she meets can ruin the line.
- SECONDARYRe:BOUNCE!Arm the next attack that reaches you, choose the escape side, and turn its force into your rebound. The attacker still gets her hit; a Smash can overwhelm the trick.
- ULTIMATEBIG BOUNCE ENERGY!!!Turn the arena into your pinball table. Aim each rebound to keep the chain alive; one bad bank ends the show.
MODULATE FOUR PARTS REAL PHYSICS
Change the shape. Change the physics.
Fitting a wider Waist does not add a number. It makes you heavier at the rim, and everything downstream of that follows. Each Part is a real object in the simulation, and its size, its mass and where that mass sits are what the physics solves every frame.
Every Part is a real object. Move one and the physics moves with it.
DEMO ONLY IN BEATSHOP YOU FIT WHOLE PARTS
MOUNTING PARTS 01 / 04
Heel
HANDLING · GLIDE
How she answers the mouse, and how long she coasts when you stop asking.
HEADS UPPARTS SHOWN ARE PLACEHOLDERS
SMASH BREAKNECK LEADS TWELVE ENCOUNTERS, FOUR ACTS
Intro
Learn the room. Carry up to three regular Remixes forward.
The committed twelve-encounter run: four acts, a locked BAE setup, a Champion at the end.
ROADMAP NO DATES LAP 000%
Closed Alpha
Small invited rounds. Real players, no coaching, blunt notes. Done.
EARLY ALPHA LIVE NOW ON ITCH.IO FREE
The doors are open. Stay in the loop.
The alpha is live and free in your browser. Leave your email and we will tell you when new Baes, new Parts and the Steam page land. No spam, no dates we cannot keep, one email when something ships.
Early alpha. Some visuals and content are still placeholder or work in progress.
CRITICAL ACCLAIM CITATION NEEDED
The reviews are in. We wrote them.
“Top top game of the year.”
The dev's wife
Not a critic. Married into the genre.
“Barely playable.”
Our own name
We picked it. It tested well.
“The physics are correct.”
Sir Isaac Newton
Unavailable for further comment.
“I bounce you!”
Miyu Nakano
Yes, Miyu we bounce you too.
“Five stars. My child made this.”
Somebody's mum
Has not played it. Does not intend to.
“Genuinely one of the games of all time.”
A message in the Discord
We remain unsure whether this was praise.
“No notes.”
The physics engine
It has several notes. It cannot type.
None of these are real reviews. Nobody has reviewed Beat Baes, because there is nothing to review yet: there is an alpha, it is free, and the only verdict on this page worth anything is the one you form about ten minutes into it.